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Tag Archives: shave

Trim Your Beard the Right Way!

Trim Your Beard the Right Way!

Ahoy, Mateys!

Last time, the Cap’n opined about beard trimmers. (Ye can find the Cap’n’s musings right here https://blackbeardformen.com/beard-trimmers/) It occurred to the Cap’n that ye might wanna know how exactly ye should go about trimming yer best assets with those new trimmers. Hence, he wrote this here message in a bottle.

First of all, mighty buccaneer, ye don’t even need beard trimmers. Many a pirate simply uses good old-fashioned scissors for a good old-fashioned trim (if said pirate has a long enough beard). No matter if ye use the scissors or the trimmers, here is what ye do:

  1. Start by washing yer best asset. Ye know get rid of the rum stains and the leftover turkey leg. As the Cap’n has told ye many a time: don’t be a daft pirate and spend yer hard-stolen doubloons on overpriced beard shampoos or dry out yer best asset with soap – simply use baby shampoo for yer lovely beard. Ye can’t get any gentler.
  2. Dry yer beard. Should be self-explanatory. Use that thing they call towel. I’ve heard of landlubbers who use blow dryers. Just. Don’t.
  3. Comb your beard. Take a comb. Start at yer ear and move the comb down toward yer jawline. With the grain, matey, not against it. (That one usually be a hard lesson for a pirate to learn.)
  4. Make sure ye got everything ye need. A large mirror, preferably one that has multiple angles, is important. And since ye don’t want to upset yer cabin wench, ye wanna make sure that ye have something to catch the beard trimmings (other than yer sink).
  5. Select the right guard. If yer using an electric trimmer, ye wanna make sure ye have the right guard. Ye don’t wanna shave too much. And ye absolutely don’t wanna forget yer guard. Otherwise, yer liable to shave off yer best asset and who wants that?
  6. Trim yer best asset. Start on the sides. From yer ear holes down the side of yer mug to yer chin. Ye wanna go with the grain again, not against it. Then move on to mustache. From the nose down to the corner of yer mouth. Lastly it’s on to yer chin. Also a downward motion.
  7. Ye might want a clean edge. After yer done trimming yer beard, ye might wanna take an electric trimmer and take the aforementioned guard off. Then ye wanna trim along yer neckline.

And this, my dear swashbucklers, is how ye become a stylin’ pirate.

May fair winds always fill yer sails!

Cheers,

The Cap’n

Beard Trimmers!

Beard Trimmers!

Ahoy, Me Hearties! All of us bearded lads (and ladies, if there be any) sometimes have to deal with trimming our best asset – our beard. And then we moan and groan and hum and haw… because we really don’t want to. Also, we’d have to find the right trimming implements and figure out how… Continue Reading

Shape the face, shape the beard!

Shape the face, shape the beard!

Ahoy, my fellow swashbucklers! Mateys, lots of important dates comin’ up in this here pirate life. We got no-shave November followed hot on its heels by the holidays. Buccaneers, swashbucklers, rum-drinkers, that means first we’ll let our beards grow and then we have to look good for the family get-together otherwise the womenfolk will bring… Continue Reading

And Then There Be GRAY

And Then There Be GRAY

Fellow Scoundrels and Brothers in Beardnificence, Cap’n Jim here with ye a horrific quasi-true story that should serve as a cautionary tale to us all. Recently, Cap’n Tanya (me partner in Blackbeard for Men) and I attended what ye might call a “trade show.” In short, this be a roomful of lying pirates trying to… Continue Reading

Cap’n Jim’s Top 5 Drink Recipes

Cap’n Jim’s Top 5 Drink Recipes

Ahoy, all ye lubbers, scoundrels, ruffians, rogues, and salts! Now I have heard tell among the crew that me reputation may not be as stellar as it once was. Aye, yer Cap’n be known as many things — pirate, lover, entrepreneur, and man about beard. Indeed I have spent many hours pontificating on the subject… Continue Reading

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