Beard Trimmers!

Ahoy, Me Hearties!

All of us bearded lads (and ladies, if there be any) sometimes have to deal with trimming our best asset – our beard. And then we moan and groan and hum and haw… because we really don’t want to. Also, we’d have to find the right trimming implements and figure out how to use them. Perish the thought!

That’s why the Cap’n has decided to make yer lives a bit easier today and look into the world of beard trimmers for ye.

What do ye want in a beard trimmer?
  • It should hold a charge long enough to give you an even trim and it should have different length settings so ye can get yer desired look. Those are the basics ye can’t do without. Of course, if ye want to spend a bit more money, there are all manner of upgrades ye can get. Some trimmers are waterproof. That way ye can shave and shower at the same time. That’s good if yer the busy type of pirate accustomed to multi-tasking. Some trimmers even have a vacuum feature to help ye clean up after yerself. That’s especially good if yer sharing yer cabin with a busty wench. They tend to get miffed if ye leave yer beard hair in the sink (and if ye leave the toilet seat up).

Next up, ye need to decide what style of beard and beard length ye like. ‘Cause the type of trimmer ye wanna put to work on yer pirate mug should work well with yer desired swashbuckling look.

  • If ye want a strong, full and manly-man beard and have a nice fade as well as yer beard goes down your face and neck, then a powerful trimmer with three guard settings should do the trick for you.
  • If yer into close-cropped or five o’clock shadow type beards, ye can save some money, ‘cause a very basic trimmer will do for ye, oh thrifty pirate. Ye don’t need a trimmer with a lot of options or tons of power. You’ll mostly be shaving without a guard using just the blades on the razor head.
  • If ye wanna get fancy with very specific beard styles, then it might do ye good to have a trimmer that has several different trimmer heads and guards. That way ye can switch out your standard trimmer head for a smaller set of blades when ye need more precision.

Now, will ye have to dig up that treasure ye just buried on that deserted island to pay for yer trimmer? Methinks not, mateys. If ye need only something basic with few guard options then it should set you back around . If ye want to get a bit fancier – different speeds, guard options, accoutrements, long-lasting battery – ye can go as high as ye want.

Trim away, lads, trim away. But always be kind to yer best asset.


The Cap’n

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Rick W.

I really do love the product and the results. Been using it for years. I put it on and then rub my beard with a dry washcloth. Same for the “Rick W.”

John F.

Got it, thank you! Already getting the attention of much younger ladies😀 ~ John F.


I’m a young guy who plays sports and is at the gym 5 days a week. My hair is dark brown, but my beard has a lot of grey in “Kevin”

Habib T., Charlotte NC

I use it 1st time couple weeks ago – wow! Amazing product – no itchy skin, no chemical, no side effect and look soo natural after first use I order “Habib T., Charlotte NC”

Simon S.

Love it! I initially purchased one just to try, but can now say with a certainty that this will be my go to product for as long as I have “Simon S.”