‘Tis the season… again. The season when yer most likely freezin’ yer tail off and dreamin’ of summer. When yer bemoanin’ the lack of sun and suddenly understand why the old Celts worshipped that glowin’ orb. In other words, winter be upon us. If ye have a beard and live in a not-so-temperate zone yer a lucky pirate, cause yer beard will keep ye warm. I’ve even heard swashbucklers swear up and down the canal that their beards grow more quickly in winter. (Sorry, lads, it ain’t really true.) Let’s talk about yer best asset and this here season. The wintry cold can wreak havoc on yer face. It dries out yer skin and makes it itchy and flaky – that is, if yer a beard-less landlubber. But if yer a bearded pirate, yer beard protects ye from the cold’s drying and unsightly effects including wind burn. As the Cap’n has said time and again: if ye don’t have a beard – it’s yer own fault.
Now, pirate, what sort of beard should ye aim for during the cold weather? A full one, of course, ‘cause it’s the type of beard that’ll protect ye against the elements. If ye can’t manage a full, mountain man type beard, don’t dismay. Many of us have a problem growing such a glory due to thinning spots, uneven growth or significant others and bosses who might be opposed. There are other solution for a winter beard. What the Cap’n has termed the “full stubble” works well in the cold month. Winter is a time for the rugged – so the ruggedly handsome lad can let his stubble shine.
Of course, ye also need to treat yer beard a bit differently during the blustery season. For starters, ye wanna ease up on the hot showers. Yeah, they be nice when it’s cold and snowy outside. The problem with the hot water is that it strips yer beard (and skin) of its natural oils. In other words, dries it out. And ye’ll have plenty of problems with that in winter already, so ye don’t wanna add to it. If ye absolutely have to take a hot shower (what sort of pirate be you?) then at least try to keep yer beard out of the hot water as much as possible. (Or use the hot tub.) Ye also want to make sure to dry yer best asset properly, ‘cause if the water evaporates on yer beard, it’ll take even more moisture with it. Next, ye only wanna shampoo yer best asset once a week and the rest of the time use a conditioner on yer beard. That’ll keep yer facial hair lustrous and healthy.
Mateys, pirates, buccaneers, we hope yer enjoying the winter season and this New Year has been off to a good start for ye. As always, feel free to get in touch. The Cap’n and his crew are always happy to hear from you.