So here we are, my fellow swashbucklers. Memorial Day is behind us and we’re lookin’ ahead to the warmer months. With summer on the horizon, many a mighty buccaneer considers a slight shave. (Only slight, ‘cause they’re mighty buccaneers after all.)
Now, me hearties, I’m sure you and your beard have had a run-in (or several) with a shave and it left you bruised and battered (or at least with a few scrapes and nicks) simply ‘cause you didn’t use the right tool for your best asset.
Yer dear friend the Cap’n is here to help (and talk about himself in the third person).
Now, let’s review our beard shaping options:
- Electric Shaver
Great if yer pressed for time and clumsy (especially if yer clumsy). Seriously, lads, you’ve got landlubbers poo-pooing electric shavers ‘cause they don’t make yer chin feel like a Baby’s behind. Well, firstly, lads, do ye wanna have a behind on yer face? Secondly, if it’s between electric shaver and surefire capitation, I know what I’m gonna pick.
- Safety Razor
They’re the double-edged kind. And also function as a double-edged sword. On the plus side, if ye have acne or another skin irritation problem, they’re good for ye. They cause less irritation than an electric shaver. On the down side, they are harder to handle. If ye don’t have a steady hand and good technique, ye might hurt yerself.
- Cartridge Razor
Characterized by their disposable blade. Easy to use and fairly safe even for a clumsy (or drunk) pirate. They also give ye quite a close shave. Of course, matey, a disposable blade means that you have to… well, dispose of it. I found that to be rather difficult to explain to the crew. One of the lads kept using the self-same blade for weeks on end. It didn’t cut anything anymore (not even butter). But the mate insisted that it didn’t bother him. His face, of course, told a different story.
- Straight Razor
Ye know, the one you see in old barber shop movies (or Westerns – the ones with Cowboys and other landlubbers). Not only will it make you feel like a manly man, it will also give you the closest shave possible. On the downside, ye really need to know what yer doing or ye will hurt yerself (and, please, stay away from all major arteries).
Now, mateys, have a great summer and always feel free to get in touch with us.
Cap’n Jim C.