BEARDS — and World History!

Ahoy, Mateys!

Now, mateys, ye might think that you are only making a personal statement when growing a beard. But, as it turns out, you’re also a product of your time.

Researchers have identified four distinct beard periods in world history:

Shaving didn’t actually become the norm until Alexander, the Great (356 BC – 323 BC) introduced it to the world. This out and out shaving trend lasted until Emperor Hadrian, the leader of the Roman world, grew a beard in the 2nd century. He was, according to historians, making a statement about himself and his manliness. The next big beard phase in human history happened during the Middle Ages. Knights and Kings all favored beards. The third beard movement was the Renaissance during the 1500s. The late 19th century brought the beard back yet again.

Men pushed back against the norm of shaving. Avast, me hearties! They brought back their very manliness, because they wanted to live in a more natural state. Beards were regarded as a sign of following the rule of nature.

In fact, mateys, if ye think about it, shaving is a decision, not the norm. A pirate has to get up every day and make the decision to shave. Whereas us bearded lads don’t have to make a decision about whether we want to grow a beard or not. It grows. Period. All we have to do is… well, nothing.

Swashbucklers, we’re in good company: Kings, Knights, and Roman Emperors chose the bearded life. And we’re a bunch of lucky pirates, cause nowadays, it doesn’t matter what kings, knights and emperors do or don’t do — we can make our own decisions. We’re our own Caesars and can proudly exclaim: “All hail, the beard!”

The Cap’n

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