Thanksgiving Beard!

Happy Thanksgiving, Mateys!

Since Turkeyday is just around the corner, the Cap’n thought this would be a good time to explore the connection between a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and beard growth. Ye may think it’s just a tenuous connection, but ye would be wrong.

Pirates, did ye know that a turkey has a beard? Indeed he does. Well, it’s a bit of an oddity since it’s not made of hair, but of a modified feather, which is quite bristly. That patch of bristles resembles a beard. For a hunter, the turkey beard is actually a trophy part and is often saved for display. Turkey beards vary in length and thickness – just like with us pirates. And there’s the rub. The Cap’n has written many blog posts about beard growth and how to help it along. It’s literally the number one question the Cap’n and his crew get asked. If ye have been following this here blog, ye know that there are many components to growing an excellent pirate beard. For example, the amount of testosterone ye produce (if ye wanna know more, check out the Cap’n’s article here: or the way yer treat that facial hair of yours (for more info, read the Cap’n’s advice: But what of that aforementioned and rapidly approaching holiday? How can ye put it to good use where yer best asset is concerned?

Well, let’s start with the bird – after all, that turkey is the most important component of yer Thanksgiving table. Hair is protein and the hair on yer mug needs to be fed. If ye don’t get enough protein in yer diet, yer beard growth will come to a full stop. If ye wanna avoid a thinning out of yer facial hair or bald patches (and who would ever want those?) then ye need to make sure ye get enough protein and that’s where meat comes in. But we’re not talkin’ any type of meat here – we need meat without saturated fats like beef and pork. And that leaves us with either chicken or our turkey. So, swashbuckler, that means “eat away, my lad” because that turkey is good for yer beard.

Next up, pumpkin soup. After all, it’s often the first course of a rather long holiday meal. A pumpkin has many health benefits like tons of vitamin A (great for a pirate’s vision) and it’s also good for the heart ‘cause it reduces bad cholesterol. But what of yer beard? Ye may be happy to know, oh buccaneer, that pumpkin also protects yer skin by fighting so-called free radicals (and we’re not talkin’ about the Navy here). This helps along yer facial hair by preventing inflammation, beard dandruff, and unsightly pustules or dry skin.

Every traditional Thanksgiving has a generous helping of sweet potatoes. And they are a veritable gold mine of a great antioxidant named beta carotene. Yer body converts beta carotene into vitamin A, which gives yer beard a great shine. As ye can see, if ye combine sweet potatoes with pumpkins – as we normally do on Thanksgiving – ye get double the load of vitamins for bearded goodness.

Let’s talk about stuffing! The Cap’n’s personal favorite. Most stuffing contains bread crust and onions. Bread crust (which, by the way, matey, is the healthier part of yer bread) contains antioxidants. Ye already know how those can help yer beard if ye paid close attention to the previous two paragraphs. The onion, in addition to even more antioxidants, also contains folate. What is folate, ye may ask? Folate can be found in many different foods and our bodies need it for cell division. Ye know what happens when ye don’t get enough folate? Well, lots of bad things, like negative changes to yer fingernails and hair (that includes yer beard). So load up on that stuffing.

Potatoes – another staple — contain fiber, protein, calcium, vitamin C, vitamin B6, iron, zinc, magnesium and potassium. And one of the many, oh so many, benefits of this killer combination is a healthy complexion as well as a healthy, shiny mane.

What would Thanksgiving be without cranberries? Cranberries are rich in vitamin C, fiber and vitamin E. All of these are important for yer overall health. And only a healthy swashbuckler can sport a healthy beard. But, moreover, cranberries also contain vitamin K, manganese and a large array of phytonutrients which are naturally occurring plant chemicals. They’re fighting inflammation and those free radicals which will mercilessly attack yer beard if ye let them.

All I can say is: Avast, me hearties! Enjoy yer Thanksgiving knowing that yer not only feeding yerself, but also yer best asset.

The Cap’n and his crew want to wish ye a great Turkeyday!

The Cap’n


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