Home Remedies for the Beard!

Ahoy, Mateys!

As ye know, the Cap’n is a big fan of home remedies for yer best asset. Why? ‘Cause ye know what the little birds say about the Cap’n: “cheap, cheap, cheap.” Seriously, this here swashbuckler doesn’t want to spend a hook and a leg on beard products. Hence, the Cap’n has put together some great remedies. Call it the beard-it-yourself chest full of awesomeness.

The most common question the Cap’n gets asked is: how can I speed up the growth of my facial hair?

Well, lads, some of it, unfortunately, depends on yer DNA and we can’t do much about that. However, ye can definitely aid yer facial hair growth. When the skin on yer chin is well-moisturized and clean, it aids the growth of yer facial hair. A clean, moist environment means that nothin’ is there that can hamper yer hair follicles from breaking through and showing their glory. Ye also wanna make sure that ye have good circulation, ‘cause that speeds up yer hair growth. So what can ye do (apart from keepin’ yer mug clean – which ye should do anyway)?

How about a massage? If ye can’t find a busty wench to help ye out here, ye can massage yer chin yerself. Combine coconut oil with rosemary oil and massage yer chin for a few minutes before rinsing it off with cold water. Ye can also use Indian Gooseberry, which is known to stimulate the growth of facial hair. Same idea. Massage yer mug for a few minutes and rinse off. The same goes for Eucalyptus Oil.

Apart from that, make sure ye give yer budding glory adequate nutrients. Hair needs protein and saturated fat to grow. So make sure ye incorporate those into yer diet. For example, beans and fish are great for yer protein needs; eggs and animal fat are good for those saturated fats. Ye also need a good balance of vitamins. Especially, A, C, and E, ‘cause they do wonders for yer hair follicles.

Exercising regularly – ye know, things like lifting a barrel of ale or tossing bottles of rum – improves blood circulation and that’s good for yer hair growth. Just 20 minutes a day can make all the difference. (Even though the Cap’n wonders why ye wanna lift that barrel of ale for only 20 minutes a day. What would ye do the other 23 hours and 40 minutes?)

Sometimes, after starting out on yer beard growth journey, ye might develop a rash. The first line of defense would be a cold compress. Just put ice cubes into a plastic bag and wrap a washcloth rinsed in cold water around it. Then put it onto the offending area. (Not too long, ye wanna make sure yer chin doesn’t go numb.)

Ye can also try Neem leaves. Neem has anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory effects. Boil Neem leaves for a few minutes. Once the water has cooled a bit, wash yer mug with it. Afterwards, for good measure, put some Aloe on the affected area. Ye can also use apple cider vinegar as an astringent. Just put some on a cotton ball and wipe the offending area with it. Before ye know it, ye’ll have skin like a baby’s behind and a glorious beard to go with it.

Get yer beard on!


The Cap’n

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