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Monthly Archives: February 2018

Pirate, it’s Cold Outside!

Pirate, it’s Cold Outside!

Ahoy, Mateys!

As ye may know, the Cap’n resides in sunny Southern California. But, believe it or not, it’s gotten cold. Really cold. Well, as really cold as it can get in Southern California. So all us Angelinos have hunkered down, staying indoors wondering how the brave swashbucklers on the East Coast are managing.

So this situation has got the Cap’n thinking about what that cold season can do to yer best asset – yer beard.   I’ve heard swashbucklers swear up and down the canal that their beards grow more quickly in winter. (Sorry, lads, it ain’t really true.)

Some buccaneers might assume that yer beard be good for the wintry weather. Might keep ye warm, aye? True. And more than that, the wintry cold can wreak havoc on yer face. It dries out yer skin and makes it itchy and flaky – that is, if yer a beard-less landlubber. But if yer a bearded pirate, yer beard protects ye from the cold’s drying and unsightly effects including wind burn. Can I get a loud hooray for the beard here?

ice cold beardNow, pirate, what sort of beard should ye aim for during the cold weather? A full one, of course, ‘cause it’s the type of beard that’ll protect ye against the elements. If ye can’t manage a full, mountain man type beard, don’t dismay. Many of us have a problem growing such a glory due to thinning spots, uneven growth or significant others and bosses who might be opposed. There are other solution for a winter beard. What the Cap’n has termed the “full stubble” works well in the cold month. Winter is a time for the rugged – so the ruggedly handsome lad can let his stubble shine.

Of course, ye also need to treat yer beard a bit differently during the blustery season. For starters, ye wanna ease up on the hot showers. Yeah, they be nice when it’s cold and snowy outside. The problem with the hot water is that it strips yer beard (and skin) of its natural oils. In other words, dries it out. And ye’ll have plenty of problems with that in winter already, so ye don’t wanna add to it. If ye absolutely have to take a hot shower (what sort of pirate be you?) then at least try to keep yer beard out of the hot water as much as possible. (Or use the hot tub.) Ye also want to make sure to dry yer best asset properly, ‘cause if the water evaporates on yer beard, it’ll take even more moisture with it. Next, ye only wanna shampoo yer best asset once a week and the rest of the time use a conditioner on yer beard. That’ll keep yer facial hair lustrous and healthy.

Mateys, we hope yer enjoying the cold(ish) season. As always, feel free to get in touch. The Cap’n and his crew will be happy to hear from you.

Cheers,

The Cap’n

Beards in Alternate History!

Beards in Alternate History!

Ahoy, Mateys! Cap’n Jim here. And it’s time for another yarn by ye old seafarer. We shall continue our series of “beards in alternate history.” What’s that, ye ask? Well, check out our video about what really caused the “Fall of the Roman Empire” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsRDXTc61sc Below ye can see that dashingly handsome devil –… Continue Reading

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