Birthdays. Aargh.


Lads! As yer Cap’n writes this, I be just days away from me birthday. Not sure why we celebrate this day. Who wants to be a year older? Let’s face it, with the exception of the ultra-rich and the globalist elites who seem curiously impervious to meeting their maker, all of us kick the proverbial […]


Ahoy, Mateys! Normally this here blog be full of good pirate-y advice on how to achieve the perfect beard and bring out yer facial glory so you, too, can be master of the seven seas with a wench in every port. Today the Cap’n has decided to turn his ship from starboard to aft so […]

Life (and Price) Hacks for your Beard!

Ahoy, Mateys! Yer Cap’n was just surfing the interwebs to stay on top of what the beard community is chewing the fat about and noticed a very, very concerning trend: people tryin’ to sell ye shite in the disguise of informative blog posts. And all the Cap’n can say to that is “Argh!” That wasn’t […]

The Story of Marty Grass and his Beard!

Ahoy, Mateys! Now, as ye surely know, today is Ash Wednesday. And that means one thing – Mardi Gras has come to an end – always a very sad realization for us pirates who enjoy carousing, drinking, and flirting with busty wenches. To make ye buccaneers feel better, the Cap’n has a Mardi Gras story […]

Stocking Stuffers for your Beard!

Ahoy, Mateys! ‘Tis the season. And right about now ye might be looking for that perfect gift for yer best asset. That would be yer beard, of course. (My beard’s got its own stocking hangin’ in my vessel’s cabin.) What does yer beard need in the way of beard accessories ye may ask? Well, since […]